The pineapple sex test

About three years before this website existed, I wrote an article on another website about strange pineapple facts. What I didn’t expect was that it would become more viewed than every other article on that site combined, and that one of the facts in particular would spark plenty of comment debate over whether it was true or not.

You can find the original article now moved here: Strange pineapple facts

What follows is a (vaguely) scientific and completely serious test.

The contention

That eating large amounts of pineapple dramatically changes the way that our seminal and vaginal fluids taste.

We took six willing couples and got them to eat lots of pineapple, before asking them to have oral sex.

The methodology

Rather than give both halves of each couple pineapple to eat, we decided that only one of them should change their eating habits. The logic behind this being that we have no idea whether or not eating lots of pineapple (or otherwise changing your diet drastically) will have an impact on the way that you perceive the taste of other things.

Since my contention is that large amounts of pineapple affects the taste of both vaginal and seminal fluids, we divided our guinea pigs couples into two separate groups, with the men in one half eating the pineapple and the women in the other half.

The sample group is far too small to measure further details, like how age affects the results, but we deliberately picked volunteers to cover a wider age spectrum.

We also wanted to make sure that there was nothing geographic or societal influencing the results (though it is hard to imagine how it would), so we picked participants that were spread across Europe. Two couples each from London, Paris and Barcelona.

The lucky pineapple eaters were to receive oral sex from their loving partners on the evening of each day for a week, with the person giving the oral pleasure making notes on the taste of their partners sticky stuff.

The first day should see no changes to the participants normal diet, to set a baseline for their taste. From the second day onwards however they should eat 200 grams of pineapple each day for the rest of the week.

Names may have been changed, but everything else is exactly as reported from the field.

The participants

We gave each willing couple a scorecard to fill in two separate marks daily, one for overall taste and the second for sweetness. Filling in our scorecards were:

The results

We took the scores for both taste and sweetness and calculated, the overall average. As you can see in the pretty green graphs, imbibing a decent amount of tropical fruit goodness really does seem to make a difference.

Things get even more interesting when we break the results down into the averages for the separate sexes.

How girls taste

How boys taste

Conclusions

The graphs above make it pretty obvious, in this test, which we will admit was limited, eating a lot of pineapple does make a significant difference to both the overall taste and the sweetness of your ‘sex wee’.

It also makes it quite clear that men seem to like the taste of women more than women like the taste of men, either with or without pineapple.

There are probably plenty more conclusions to be drawn, and we’ll be putting up some more pretty little graphs as soon as we work out what they are.