10 strange pineapple facts

by John Pope

A list of ten strange and interesting facts about pineapples. Including oral sex, tenderising meat, and how to clean a machete blade.

This article first appeared on John on Food in June 2009, and was constantly the most popular article on the site until it was moved to here in January 2012.

Pineapples are really very strange things. It would probably be reasonably easy to write a whole book, albeit a small one, containing things that most people don’t know about the spiky topped fruit. Partially because I’m not sure that anyone would buy the book, but mostly because I just can’t be bothered, I am instead going to just keep it down to these 10 interesting (I think) facts.

  1. There are a lot of foods that affect the taste of your seminal or vaginal fluids, but pineapple is one of the strongest. Eating a lot of pineapple makes you taste sweeter, and less ‘fishy’.

  2. When you cut up a pineapple at home, you normally chuck the skin, core and ends in the bin. The pineapple canning industry doesn’t though, these bits are used for making alcohol, vinegar and animal feed.

  3. Each pineapple plant only produces just one pineapple per year.

  4. Unripe pineapples don’t just taste vile, but can actually be quite poisonous. Eating it causes serious throat irritation and it has a strong laxative effect.

  5. Pineapples grow slowly, and can take up to two years to reach full size, so we pick and eat them when they are much smaller, but if they are left to their own devices they can reach up to 9kg (20lbs).

  6. If you want to speed up the ripening of a pineapple, so that you can eat it faster, then you can do it by standing it upside down (on the leafy end).

  7. Traditionally pineapple juice was used as a diuretic and to induce labour.

  8. The Bromelain enzyme in pineapples breaks down proteins. This means that you can use pineapple or pineapple juice as a meat tenderiser.

  9. The same Bromelain enzyme means that you can’t put fresh pineapple in jelly, because it breaks down the gelatine. You can stop this from happening by boiling the chunks of pineapple in their juice or in water for a few minutes, or you can use canned pineapple.

  10. In case you find yourself on a sailing trip in the tropics without any Ajax, you might like to know that pineapple juice mixed with sand is very good for cleaning boat decks and machete blades.

Fact #1 is also the inspiration behind our very first scientific survey – which you can find here: The pineapple sex test

  • Turtle

    I knew pineapple makes smell and taste good. It also makes your milk taste
    when breastfeeding. I learned several years ago a mans cemen cures an upset
    stomach, dont know if a womens juice can do same thing.

    • porkandgin

      Yes, it’s the high level of acidity in the pineapple that affects the taste of breast milk.

      • Turtle

        Besides using the core fore sex can you eat it, if so how would you fix it

  • porkandgin

    Some people don’t like fish?

  • http://www.facebook.com/laroidion Laroi Dion Jackson Sr.

    I grow pineapples in my backyard, from sprouts,seeds etc.
    “I am the Pineapple Whisperer, “ya Dig” !!

  • Angel Catchings

    im eating them noww((:

  • Bosco wong

    i hate pineapple

  • Maria Isabel

    Will pineapple juice have the same effect on number 1?

  • http://www.facebook.com/wildhaired Wild Haired Mavens

    Buying 20 pineapples, I want to taste like watermelon jolly ranchers by New Years

    • alex

      jolly rancher, oh god

    • Dana

      Ew, you look like you taste like butt.

  • Andy Mikel

    If any of you is getting bored go to Google and search “gay3ty” and enjoy. :)

  • skye

    Lol so I’m eating pineapples right now n dats y I jus decided to look into it…I’m sorry tho some of dis stuff is jus crazy…u going to farr when u begin to taste your own semen I’m sorry dats my opinion n I don’t mean any harm u do wat u want bt it’s creepy!

    • Ghazala Syed

      I know a lot of men have tasted their own cum precum and prostatic fluid. Initially it’s like curiosity. It’s good to do that since you get to know what it tastes like before you ask anyone if they want a mouth full. Besides it’s come out of your own body and is sterile unless you have an infection in your nether regions. It’s like urine, i’ve tasted and drank mine, it’s supposed to be therapeutic. Other body fluids include precum and prostatic secretions, well they are the components of semen anyway. What about milk or your partner’s love juice? You get a mouthful of that. Anyway there is one thing I would draw the line at but I’m not going to mention it you can guess.

    • Adam

      Why is it creepy?

  • Aubrey

    I just ate an unripe pineapple….

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  • lea

    Theres a LOT Of perverts out there; at least u dont hve to look them in the face, literally!’ Lol and they cant SEE (**) YOU! PLUS it feels safer ths way?

  • erika

    I believe that once the pineapple is picked. The ripening of a pineapple will stop. so no matter what you do. it will not ripen. I read that on another report.

    • Michelle

      Bought semi ripe at store two days ago, sweet smelling and ready to eat now. Cutting tomorrow.

    • Michela65

      You are correct! It will not ripen any further after it’s been picked.

      • Katey

        I’m not sure you are right, it seems to work for me… someone explain / clarify?

  • Michelle

    Makes pee smell weird though.

  • Emmit

    My tongue is bleeding from just eating pineapple!!

    • porkandgin

      Umm… how much did you eat??
      That is surely not a normal reaction to pineapple – seek medical attention?

    • Jaz

      That’s extreme, but it does make my lips hurt sometimes!

  • fatho

    im sorry my pineapples so big bcuz i take testicle steroids and ima huge fafgot

  • fatho

    omigod guys im such a fag lol id like 2 suck on your banana if ya know wat i mean ;3

  • fatho

    i like dick

  • fatho

    so does my boyfriend CUZ WE’RE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • fatho

    HE LLICKS MY BUTTHOLE ERRYDAY

  • fatho

    HIS NAME IS TRAVIS SCHLOSSER

  • fatho

    So guys…. that’s a pretty good recipe you have there. I made for my boyfriend….. Travis, my boyfriend. cuz im gay

  • fatho

    i like dick

  • Ashley

    I love the core of the pineapple!! i also eat lots of fresh fruit and vegies daily but not because im vegian but because i like to eat when im bored so why not make it healthy lol i eat pineapple the most tho basically because im the only one who really eats in my home and i have a sweet tooth i constantly crave sweets,…..we juice it and cut it up here i stopped buying the canned pineapple and started buying fresh…

    • Tamara Nadal

      In the context of this conversation “loving” the core of the pineapple sounds so wrong!

  • Alexandrababeh7

    I love my pineapples!!!

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  • Mimi

    Thanks! This helped me for my report!

  • Todd

    Will pineapple if left out for a long while,will it smell like urine?

    • http://porkandgin.com porkandgin

      It depends on how your urine smells I guess, why would you want to recreate it anyway?

  • Todd

    Anyone with an answer?

  • Michelle

    My aunties friend died from eating too much pineapple. Pineapples have acids and can make your stomach weak if you eat too much. My auntie’s friend stomach was already weak and was crazing for some pineapples. When he ate those pineapples the next day he died.

    • Michelle

      Craving*


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